Community Discussions
Explore the latest discussions and community conversations related to this domain.
[Need Advice] How the heck do you rest?
Main Post:
The biggest challenge I am facing in my quest to become more disciplined is giving myself proper rest and relaxation. When I suffer burnout (around one month for every six in the past two years) it's really bad and I often have to start from scratch and build myself back up. If my progress in discipline was a graph over time it would look like jagged mountain peaks, and while the trend is upwards, the ups and downs are tiring me out and I want to stabilize as I get older.
So in order to make that happen, it seems like I need to learn how to rest. I've tried to learn restful hobbies (meditation, yoga, journaling) but with those things I'm still pushing myself to rest harder, to be better at them. I allow myself to play videogames sometimes but the only games that I enjoy are competitive and stimulate my ambitions. I enjoy smoking weed, and that makes me feel totally rested and is often what helps the most, but it produces negative side effects and I want to learn how to fulfill my needs without it. Walking is good, but in that my mind wanders and finds something challenging to put in order and doesn't stay silent. The closest I really get is cooking, but I cook almost every night and I still seem to need more. So, to the disciplined people who feel they have this aspect of their lives figured out, how do you give yourself rest?
TLDR: I keep burning myself out and want to find ways to put down my ambitions for a time and rest.
Top Comment: Call it recovery instead of rest/relaxation. This has helped me. I heard on a Tim Ferriss podcast ( episode #213 ) that often Type A people and/or those hyper focused on productivity sometimes find it hard to rest/relax because they think of all the other things they could be doing instead. Change your frame of mind and call it recovery instead of relaxation. Every organism (and sub- functions therein) require periods of productivity followed by recovery. The recovery is what creates stronger muscles, or regenerative processes, etc. This helps us see rest as a required, natural, and productive part of the process. edit: adding link to the podcast episode
How often do you truly rest?
Main Post:
By resting, I don’t mean scrolling through your phone, watching tv or playing a video game. I realized I hardly ever properly “rest” - I have an auto urge to grab my phone or put the tv on when I’m sitting on the couch not working. I get restless easy which might be a result of constant phone time and dopamine hits. Do you have advice for properly tuning out distractions?
Top Comment: I don't rest as in 'sit staring into space' because I don't feel the need for it. I do plenty of relaxing activities such as a walk in the nature, a leisurely meal, reading a book in the garden and playing with my cats. I also do a lot of stimulating activities, such as travel, day trips, learning languages, socialising with friends, going to various cultural events and historical attractions. What I don't do a lot of is work. I know technology gets a lot of blame for being a distraction, but in my experience it's the lack of good work -life balance that is to blame, when the remaining free time can be used either for rest or for enjoyment but not both, resulting in us always switching from one to the other, because you're either not getting enough rest, or are left feeling that nothing much happens in your life apart from work. Technology provides the means of distraction but I don't think it's the cause. At least I've had no problem with distractions ever since I stopped working full-time. However, it is not an option for a lot of people :(
How to rest?
Main Post: How to rest?
Top Comment: Rest to me means not doing anything or doing things that only take minimal effort. So sleep. Watch tv. Read. Meditate. Listen to podcasts (while sitting or laying down). Watching a movie while eating popcorn. Going to a movie and dinner with a friend. Writing in a journal. Going to the cafe for coffee then browsing the bookstore. Doing your favorite non-strenuous craft (like crochet) as long as it's not frustrating and it's easy for you. Gaming can be relaxing. Playing with your pets. It sounds like you need gentle, fun low-key activities.
I don't know how to rest.
Main Post:
I feel like I can't rest anymore.
As long as I'm busy, I'm fine. I feel like I'm the happiest during exam season when I study like 10 hours a day - it's stressful, but my mind is busy.
I'm a full time student (I study veterinary medicine) and now during summer holidays I'm working two jobs (one as a hostess in a restaurant and second as a caretaker in a children's hospice). At the same time I make sure to practice my drawing, writing and working out every single week. Thanks to that there's always something to do (my social life suffers a lot though lmao).
But I feel like my body can't keep up anymore, even though I'm just twenty. I get sick often lately and I used to be the healthiest person ever. At the same time, I got so used to being productive all the time my mind literally doesn't let me rest. Like, sure, I can play a game for an hour a day or so, but at the same time I'm thinking that I could be doing more with my time, you know?
And I realized that no matter how much productive things I'm doing that feeling is always going to be there.
So, productive people: how do you actually rest your brain?
Top Comment: You need to convince yourself that rest is productive and is not just wasted time. You can’t drive a car forever, you gotta get some gas at some point and do maintanence. Sleep and leisure time are those two and you gotta come to terms with that.
What is "rest"?
Main Post:
I was surprised that it wasn't just considered "sleep enough". Apparently it includes doing something you actually want to do? Is the purpose to do something that change your mood? Does it have to be relaxing and require little mental power? Is there any scientific reasoning for why it helps?
Top Comment: Cathartic activities rest your mind.
What is rest to you?
Main Post:
I’m having a cycle of I need to rest, I don’t deserve to rest, I don’t know how to rest, what is rest even... also recently watched a YouTuber who shared maybe if she liked herself more, she would actually take care of herself more and it really hit me hard.
So yes, what is rest to you? I guess I’m trying to find possibilities and a direction as to where I start finding this for myself.
Top Comment: I struggled with this alot, and what helped me was Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with my therapist, and her book reco of Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection. I’ll answer your question with my favorite lines among many from the book: “I made a promise to myself that when I felt emotionally, physically, and spiritually done, I’d try slowing down rather than relying on my old standbys: pushing through, soldiering on, and sucking it up.” “I tried the new DIG Deep—get deliberate, inspired, and going. I told myself, ‘If you need to refuel and losing yourself online is fun and relaxing, then do it. If not, do something deliberately relaxing. Find something inspiring to do rather than something soul-sucking. Then, last but not least, get up and do it!’ I closed my laptop, said a little prayer to remind myself to be self-compassionate, and watched a movie that had been sitting in a Netflix envelope on my desk for over a month. It was exactly what I needed.” “It wasn’t the old Dig Deep—the pushing through. I didn’t force myself to start working or to do something productive. Rather, I prayerfully, intentionally, and thoughtfully did something restorative.”
What does rest mean to you?
Main Post:
Hi everyone. I’ve had a calling to slow down and rest and I’m in a privilege position where I can scale down work and rest for the rest of this year.
But it dawned on me this morning that I don’t actually know how to rest - to me resting has always been Netflix and scrolling on social media. But this makes me feel so numb and disconnected.
I worry I will feel bored and restless and just go back to being busy.
Does anyone have any advice they could offer me? What does rest mean to you?
Top Comment:
This is a wonderful reply, and congrats to OP for being in a period of rest!
If tech is a go-to, I would say start off with 7 days of no-tech. Let your family and friends know in advance, and I would really advise to go 7 days straight instead of designating an hour every morning/etc. It changes everything to let those stimuli go for a period of time, and will be maddeningly difficult for the first 3 days!
During that time, focus on getting deeper into your senses. We use our sight and sound heavily in our screen/headphones world, so focus on tactile, olfactory, and taste delights. Make your own food, or go out to eat and (because you're without tech!) people watch with peaceful interest.
Journal, write bullet points on flashcards, whatever is your method--start writing down the best things this year, the best things you didn't expect, what you want to do next, what you want to do next year--the things you like best about yourself, what you like best about your friends and want to embody yourself, Christmas gifts idea. Everything. The simple habit of reflecting through hand-on-paper writing will help to be in the moment and process everything that's happened to you in the last 9 months, and eventually become the comfortable place to think and plan what you want to do most in the next 3.
It took me a while to build this, but I have a list of "I'd like to do" in my town, the nearest surrounding towns, and a few big cities that are a day trip away. When a spare day/first date/visitor comes to town, I'm able to quickly plan something that I've been looking forward to a while instead of starting from scratch. Something to think about!
With your time off tech and time writing, you'll be able to process the year's emotions and plan out what you want to do most. Best of luck to you--that's a dream!
[Serious] How do you define rest?
Main Post: [Serious] How do you define rest?
Top Comment: When you are not doing anything actively.
LPT Request: How to rest when resting?
Main Post:
I have a problem, when I should rest, after work and gym or week ends and holidays, I can't rest, always thinking about future and trying to solve future problems. After I go back to the work, I am not refreshed and I am very tired and exhausted. I suffer also from insomnia, have been suffering it for many years, diet ,exercise and therapy are on point but maybe this everyday stress about future destroys my sleep and I can't relax at night. I have also tried 8 different sleep meds and those meds didn't help. So how to rest and relax and live in the moment? Also this sub provides always many helpful tips, thank you!
Top Comment: This post has be marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect. Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips ! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.